The Sexual Education of a Beauty Queen by Taylor Marsh

Author:Taylor Marsh
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781497663138
Publisher: Publishers Square

6

How to Catch a Man

Some things never change.

There is no doubt that what you look like matters. It’s a lie to think otherwise. But it’s not about perfection as much as it is about confidence and knowing how to make the most of what you’ve got. That includes being comfortable with your own sensuality, whether you’re a beauty queen type or a big and beautiful, plus-size girl. At the root of it all, in case you haven’t caught on yet, is not just what you look like, but who you are as an individual. The key is not pretending or projecting some magazine’s view, but being the person you actually are in your own skin. You cannot do this without knowing what it is that excites you, which goes well beyond externals.

We’ve got better things to do now than worry about how to catch a man, right? Women are no longer focused on being perfect, because we’re more invested in being the individuals that we know we can be. Right? We want it all, and why not? Especially since we are no longer tied down to rules and expectations of behavior that someone else drew up. If men have been masters of their fate forever, at least now women hold the reins to their own destiny, an option my mother didn’t have.

Whether women can have it all depends on your personal definition of what that means, which includes the financial means you have at your disposal to manifest it. There’s also a lot to be said for making specific choices that cut off other avenues that you have decided aren’t for you. It’s not feminism’s fault if things aren’t happening as you’d like. Sometimes, it’s just being patient, waiting for life to unfold in its own time, which is the hardest lesson to learn. At other times, we aren’t kind to ourselves, harshly judging what really is the best we can do at the time. There are still other times when we have no one to blame but ourselves — when it’s all our fault that we’ve ended up in the mess we’re in, often knowing it was coming long before it landed.

As Taylor Swift admits, “I realize the blame is on me. ’Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in, so shame on me.”

That’s when it’s all the woman’s fault. It’s a topic I’ve mined for more than a decade. Obviously, it’s not about blaming yourself every time you turn around. It’s about those times when you knew he was bad news, but you just couldn’t resist. Or maybe it’s not that he was the wrong guy, but you just knew it was never going to work, and you plunged ahead anyway. Maybe it was a guy who has been hovering for a long time, who catches you at a weak moment and you succumb, just to have someone to take up the slack in a life that’s become too much to handle on your own.

Been there, done that.

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